from time to time, i’m going to post hard questions on here.
think. muse. pray. just don’t half ass it.
what do you do behind closed doors?
what do you speak in secret?
why do you do what you do?
what do you really believe; truly?
do the words ‘should’ and ‘ought’ dominate your life?
are you authentic to who you really are?
more to come.
‘keep leaning forward.’ - Eamonn Cottrell
the morning is pretty much my favorite time ever. i get to run/work out, drink coffee and read (and especially on mornings like today, the cool, windy/slightly rainy conditions outside have provided a perfect opportunity to stay huddled in my room with a piping hot mug of jo).
so this mornings readings brought me to this passage…
‘Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the Lord that he may come and rain righteousness upon you.’ - Hosea 10:12
i hear some very practical things here. a resounding ‘do something about your faith’ seems to echoe from this verse. ‘pay attention to your thoughts, your actions, your tendencies - they matter’. ‘these aren’t just words, they’re bread and wine’.
this morning is a ‘subtle’ reminder to me that God cares about what we do because what we choose to do reveals what we value - what we delight in - what we prefer - and taking time to learn and truly understand the characteristics and methods of spreading His love, His gospel, His peace involve applicable tangible actions. a psychiatric ward isn’t seen as a brilliant waste of time where nothing gets done - through conversation, through learning and understanding internal problems, real changes can happen in a person through applying a.) intentional attitude adjustments, b.) breaking habits, c.) reverse conditioning one’s heart, body, mind against the tendencies of old etc. / essentially the point being that scripture, spiritual talk and most things Christianity today can be (and for a lot of circles are being) grouped into a category where it’s all just a bunch of jargon, gibberish, wussy sounding crap that the only depth is sounding like and appearing to be intelligent with words. when in reality it’s very important to plant scripture, feed on His promises, let Him change you through keeping perspective through the eyes of Christ.
bottom line is that if you don’t take God and your faith seriously, you’re wasting your time because ‘{God}} is too holy to come in among people who are still playing games with his reputation and His honor and His word.’ - John Wood.
‘and that’s all i have to say about that.’ - forrest gump
1 Thomas Merton Thoughts In Solitude (via mattcasada)
(Source: mattcasada)
2
this entire culture is built upon speculation.
inspiration and genuine intrigue hang on a web of synthesized Godness.
we are motivated by and underestimate the power of truth.
questions are now only the starting point on a perfect circle.
weakness is measured by success.
love is a conundrum.
if i could write a letter to God, i would simply ask, ‘why?’.
solidarity is a sham.
sometimes i feel like the devil on my shoulder is winning.
friendship isn’t organic - it’s planned.
no one speaks - we, who know, congregate.
there is no such thing as wasted time - only wasted worth.
hope cannot exist near the word ‘optional’ - hope is before, behind and beyond.
true stimulation cannot occur without a 3rd party source.
the temporary is permanently in our memories.
can you remember your first breath?
whatever is not necessary should be discarded.
i hate not understanding.
rest is no more and no less than needed.
I am what I have done – a name is not enough
You are what you’ve become – right now defines you
We are a common thing – uncommon as they come
Tear down and rebuild again the walls of what I’ve done
Will you share this breath with me?
Blur your eyes to see
The ocean is ankle deep
If you want it to be
I won’t escape my past if I do the same old things
Dear God, I need your son – I believe in Jesus’ name
I want to feel the wind like a hurricane
I want to taste the rain like a honeycomb
I want to stop assuming love is out of reach
I want to give my everything to feel again
to feel again
to feel again
to feel again….
we don’t have time to be fake;
every single day is only seconds long.
if we don’t take the time to love…
then who will?
1 jealousy wears make up
to make herself look like
excitement.
idealism smokes cigarettes
and eats junk food and wonders
why he has health problems.
wings are for birds and planes -
not for humans.
‘should’ has a poison handshake
and only listens on tuesdays.
help me, God - i’m struggling.
1 what do you try to be?
stop.
be who you are.
you make me feel like
dirty laundry -
‘just hang it up to dry’.
you look at my stains
as if they’re permanent.
you discount my efforts
like a child kills an ant.
beyond the question of
‘why’, when did this begin?
this wart has been infected
by concealment and stealth.
who are you?
you are just like me - alive.
blood pumps and neurons shoot
and our Spirit pulses.
but at the heart of it
there is a disconnect.
don’t play God
or you’ll end up a devil.
i need more space
between these breaths
i can’t keep singing
between you and me
i miss those days
when i was on my own
but i can’t keep singing
between you and me
come back home
where you belong
come back home
to me
i almost forgot
about our conversation
between our breaths
between you and me
i scan the horizon
but all i see is the sea
i need more space
because it still hurts
and i can’t keep singing
between you and me
